I'm Just A Teenage Dirtbag, Baby, Like You

He took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

The teacher sitting at the desk inside was one he recognised very well. Mr. Raiden Narukami was the English Literature teacher, and one of the most beloved in the school. Mr. Narukami raised an eyebrow at Hanzo, obviously surprised to see someone usually so well behaved inside the room.

“Hanzo Hasashi. Well, I will admit I am quite surprised.” He held out a hand, and Hanzo realised he was expecting to receive the detention slip that Hanzo had been provided. Hanzo passed it over, and Mr. Narukami read through the slip, sighing and nodding along as he did. “Ah. Well, that is disappointing to read.” Hanzo didn’t reply, he just lowered his head. “Mr. Hasashi, I am awfully sorry for what you have been through lately, but you and I both know that is no excuse for that sort of behaviour.”

“I know,” Hanzo agreed, because he did know. Him not coping well with his current life events was no reason for him to do what he did. “My father will be getting me therapy as soon as possible, we’re just on the waiting list.”

Mr. Narukami sighed, “yes, I’m sadly aware how bad mental health services are right now. Hopefully it won’t be too long, and you can get the help you need, yes?”

“Yes Sir.” He was starting to lose hope on that, but maybe he shouldn’t.

“Either way, please take a seat Mr. Hasashi.”

Hanzo nodded and moved to sit down on a random seat. He was the only person in the room, and all his thoughts wandered to how his Father would react when he got home. Of course, he was already aware this had happened, they’d called his father in straight away. It was the only reason his punishment was as light as it was, the other kid’s parents agreeing on account of Hanzo’s current circumstances, even if it had taken far too much to persuade them to do so.

Still, he couldn’t help but feel like his Father would be disappointed in him, and that thought hurt. Even worse, if his Mother were here, what would she say?

He jumped out of his skin, broken from his thoughts as the door slammed open suddenly. Another boy walked into the room, short black hair with a large scar over one side of his face and lots of piercings all over. Hanzo recognised him as Song Kuai Liang, who was in the same year as him but they ran very different circles.

In fact, Kuai Liang didn’t really have a circle at all.

Kuai Liang was more or less everything Hanzo wasn’t. He didn’t do his work on time, he didn’t join clubs, he didn’t socialise and he tended to get terrible grades. While it wasn’t too surprising he was in detention, given he tended to get into trouble whenever possible, Hanzo still couldn’t help but feel a little intimidated by his presence.

“Hi Raiden, did you miss me?” Kuai Liang said with a massive grin on his face. Mr. Narukami looked exhausted for a second, but finally his lips curled into a fond smile.

“Of course I have. This room isn’t the same without you. So, what did you do this time?” He held out his hand like he had done to Hanzo, and Kuai Liang placed a rather scrappy looking detention note into it. Mr. Narukami looked at the piece of paper, looking utterly perplexed. “You… Ate an apple in class?” He questioned, watching as Kuai nodded. “Well. I have to admit, this is extremely tame for you. I’d say you’re losing your touch, Kuai Liang.”

“Well there’s nothing in the handbook that says we can’t eat in class,” Kuai Liang explained as he shrugged. “I need to keep my blood sugars up somehow. Not my fault the teacher took it as a challenge to her authority.”

Mr. Narukami stared flatly for a few seconds, before finally letting out a soft chuckle. “At this point, they’re just throwing you in here for every little thing, hm?”

“Or I’m finding reasons for them to send me here,” Kuai claimed, wearing a small grin. “You are my best friend, after all, Raiden.”

“Yes, all these years we’ve spent together, it is hard to not grow fond of someone,” he replied with a genuine affection in his voice. Huh, it seemed Mr. Narukami genuinely did like Kuai Liang for some reason. That explained why he got away with calling him Raiden as well. “You know the drill by now, go take a seat, Kuai Liang.”

Kuai Liang turned to approach the seats. Hanzo hoped that he’d choose any of the empty seats that weren’t beside him. His hopes were rudely squashed when Kuai Liang sat himself down at the desk right next to him. Hanzo cursed in his head, he didn’t really want to have to interact with him. Kuai Liang looked Hanzo up and down, wearing a confused look on his face.

“I don’t recognise you,” he muttered, tilting his head ever so slightly. “Is it your first time down here?”

“Yes,” Hanzo reluctantly replied, not really liking being the centre of attention.

“Mr. Hasashi is actually a well behaved student, unlike some people we can mention,” Mr. Narukami replied. It surprised Hanzo a fair bit, he didn’t think student’s were supposed to speak during detention, but Mr. Narukami didn’t seem that bothered.

“Hasashi?” Kuai Liang looked like he was thinking. “Wait, shit, aren’t you on your way to being valedictorian? What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Language Kuai Liang,” Mr. Narukami warned, and Hanzo once again didn’t understand why he was allowing this.

“Sorry Raiden,” Kuai Liang called, waving lazily in his direction. “But, really. How does someone like you end up in detention?”

“I… I punched another student,” Hanzo admitted, looking in the opposite direction. He really didn’t want to talk about this, but it seemed Kuai Liang wasn’t going to let him be silent.

“Whoa, really? That’s so cool.” Of course the kid who got into trouble so often he was on a first name basis with the teacher who ran detention would think punching someone was cool. “Was it hard? Did you knock the guy out? Was there blood?”

“Kuai Liang,” Mr. Narukami interrupted, sounding exacerbated. “I’m sure Mr. Hasashi doesn’t want to answer all those questions. Not everyone is as thirsty for blood and violence as you are.”

“I’m not thirsty for blood and violence,” Kuai mumbled, sounding almost offended by it. “I just like knowing the details of the fights that happen around here.” Kuai Liang turned back to Hanzo and commented “at least it’s only for today, right?”

“Actually I’ll be here all week,” Hanzo muttered under his breath and he heard a small gasp from Kuai Liang.

“Did you straight up fucking kill the guy or something?”

“Language,” Mr. Narukami reminded him yet again, although this time he didn’t even bother looking up from the paperwork he was doing. Hanzo could only assume this was all such a common occurrence that he’d given up actually trying to punish Kuai Liang.

“No, but I mean, I’ve punched a lot of people,” Kuai claimed, crossing his arms over his chest. “And I’ve only gotten a day at most each time. What did you do to them?”

“I don’t know, it wasn’t that… bad,” Hanzo tried to justify, although Kuai Liang’s claim made him feel strange. How was it he was being punished harsher than a guy who claimed to have punched a lot of people? Hanzo supposed maybe it was that this was a compromised punishment, as the other kid’s parents had wanted him suspended at first.

“Well, either way, guess we’re detention buddies for the week.” Kuai Liang slouched back in his chair, stretching and yawning, before putting his feet up on the desk. “How’s it feel to know what you did is equally as bad as eating an apple?” He shook his head dramatically and scoffed. “The school rules are really just bullshit sometimes. Once I got in here because I disagreed with a teacher on something.”

“You’re missing out the part of the story where you dramatically ranted in precise detail about why he was wrong,” Mr. Narukami chimed up. “And you did call him some rather choice words.” He put his pen down and looked at Kuai with an amused smile. “I will grant that you had a point, but did you really have to call him a filthy bastard?”

“I only called him that because he called me stupid.” Kuai Liang pouted. “I know I’m a difficult kid, but I’m not stupid.”

“I know,” Mr Narukami softly assured him, smiling kindly at him. He looked like he was about to say something else, but before he could, there was a knock on the door and another teacher stepped inside, signalling for Mr. Narukami to follow him. “I’ll be back in a second. No talking.” He winked at them as he said that, positioned in a way the other teacher couldn’t see.

It didn’t take long for him to disappear, leaving Hanzo and Kuai Liang alone.

“You’re lucky to get Raiden for your first time in detention,” Kuai Liang stated almost as soon as the door had closed. “He’s pretty chill compared to others. I think he realises that people tend to get sent here for really dumb shit.” He turned back to look at Hanzo, pursing his lips. “But really, how hard did you hit that kid? Your punishment seems disproportionate to your crime.”

“It wasn’t even that hard,” Hanzo grumbled, because fucking hell, it really hadn’t been that bad. The kid didn’t even have a bruise, but he’d cried like Hanzo had broken his skull in half. “I just didn’t realise when I hit him, that his parents happen to contribute a lot to the school financially, so he basically gets away with murder.”

“Oh, yikes, that’d do it.” Kuai grimaced at him, baring his teeth slightly. “You’d have done better punching someone like me, to be fair.” He brushed his hair from his face as he said “actually, next time you feel like punching someone, I give you permission to find me and deck me. You probably won’t even get detention because they’ll put the blame on me.”

“I would rather there not be a next time… But I will keep that offer in mind, thank you.” It was one of the most bizarre things anyone had ever said to him, yet coming from Kuai Liang it was almost sweet.

“So, what did the guy do to make you punch him?” Kuai Liang asked, adjusting himself so his feet were back on the floor, and he was leaning forward onto the desk. “Because I can’t imagine someone like you would go straight to punching for no reason.”

“I just…” Hanzo stopped himself, grunting in frustration. He’d spent so long repressing his feelings, but obviously that wasn’t working. He hadn’t told his friends how he’d been feeling all these months, why would he tell a stranger like Kuai Liang? Even so, he sighed and admitted “over summer vacation, my mother passed away. The guy I punched was making fun of her death.”

“What a fucking bastard,” Kuai bluntly exclaimed and Hanzo couldn’t help a bit of a spluttering laugh. Kuai sounded so angry on his behalf. Strange, how even the kid who was known for getting into trouble seemed to understand that was a line to not be crossed. “I’m sorry to hear about your mom though. My Mama passed away when I was little, so I know how you feel.”

“You do?” He questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“No need to sound so surprised. I’m an asshole, but I have feelings, y’know?” Kuai laughed slightly, but did look solemnly. “People don’t get it until it happens to them. It’s like a source of warmth is extinguished, and all that’s left is cold.”

Huh. It does feel a bit like that, doesn’t it?

“You have quite the way with words,” Hanzo commented, because given Kuai Liang’s grades, it wasn’t something he’d expected.

Kuai snorted and said “yeah, despite my fearsome reputation, I actually kind of like reading.”

“Huh.” He remembered the previous conversation with Mr. Narukami, and when Kuai claimed he didn’t like being called stupid. Maybe his grades weren’t an indication of his intelligence. There was clearly, at the very least, an emotional intelligence most of their peers did not possess. “How come you’re always here anyway? Kind of feels like if you put your mind to it, you could be valedictorian yourself.”

“I’m the kid of a crime boss,” he casually replied, shrugging like that was a completely normal thing to say. “I was already being treated like I was trouble even when I was behaving. So what’s the point of seeking validation that’s never going to come?”

Hanzo wasn’t sure about the first bit, that sort of thing seemed far fetched and would only happen in the movies. The second bit however? How sad he sounded when he said it? That was definitely the truth. It actually made Hanzo feel bad for judging him harshly himself.

“I mean for fucks sake, I have detention for a week for eating an apple,” Kuai half exclaimed in a mix of a laugh and a sob. “But kids like the one you punched can get away with being the actual devil all because mommy and daddy can pay their way out of trouble.”

“You have a point, about the school rules being bullshit,” Hanzo agreed, because now that he thought about it. Yeah. This all seemed disproportionate. The kid he punched had been bullying him, surely, and yet the system protected him.

It all just seems… Unfair.

“Welcome to my world,” Kuai said sadly. “At least Raiden seems to know this is all bullshit.”

Before Hanzo could say any more, the door flung open and Mr. Narukami walked back in, looking perplexed by something. He stood at the front of the room, staring down at his hands.

“Kuai Liang, can I ask you a question?” Mr. Narukami asked.

“Uh, depends what it is?” Kuai’s expression relaxed, and it just made how sad he’d been previously seem so much more obvious.

“Do I speak in riddles?” Mr. Narukami tilted his head to one side. “Because apparently there’s been complaints.”

“Eh, there is a reason you have been nicknamed ‘the sphinx’ I suppose.” That wasn’t true, and Hanzo could tell from the grin on his face that Kuai Liang was just teasing.

“What? No! I haven't? Have I?”

“Oh yeah, I’ve heard that too,” Hanzo innocently added, feeling a flutter in his chest at the delighted smile Kuai Liang gave him.

Maybe this was going to be a long week, but he felt a little better knowing he had an ally for it at least.

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