Questions on if he got to test the wares, if he’d done certain sex acts, where the best local orgies met at. He wasn’t entirely sure what it was about working in a sex shop that made people decide that asking entirely inappropriate questions was acceptable, but it did seem to. He’d been slut shamed, hit on, yelled at, ogled at, sometimes all at the same time. Honestly, he couldn’t wait until he was done with his degree and he could find a new job.
Thankfully, his boss let him keep some pepper spray under the counter. Doubly thankfully, he had so far never had to use it.
He sighed as he opened a box, looking upon a new stock of brand new vibrators. It was from one of his favourite brands and he was quite interested in this one. He slipped one out, putting it behind the counter so he could buy it later, and then carried the box over to where he needed to display them.
As he placed the box down again, the bell on the door went off and he looked up just in time to see three men entering the shop.
“C’mon I’m telling you dude, this will get you back in the game,” the one man insisted, and he recognised him immediately. None other than Johnny Cage, famous movie star. He was, weirdly, a regular in the shop, and if Kuai was honest, he was definitely one of the more top tier customers in terms of how he acted. He was always extremely polite and never too over the top with his questions. Kuai Liang didn’t recognise the men with him, but he hoped if they were with Johnny then they’d be alright too. When Johnny saw Kuai, he waved and said “hey man, how are you doing?”
“I’m doing well, thank you Mr. Cage,” he replied, placing a couple of the vibrators on the shelf. “Can I help you at all today?”
“Not me, but maybe my friend here.” Johnny pushed forward one of the men, who looked completely mortified to be put on the spot. “His name is Hanzo, and he’s trying to put himself back out there, so I thought maybe getting some stuff from here might spice things up for him.”
“I see.” That was actually incredibly common. Lots of people, upon going through a breakup, would find themselves grabbing a toy or two to keep themselves satisfied. “Well, what sort of thing did you have in mind?”
“I- I have no idea,” Hanzo muttered, trying to look anywhere but at Kuai Liang. “What would you recommend?”
“Uh.” That was a loaded question, because without knowing Hanzo’s tastes it was hard to know what to point him towards. Eventually he cleared his throat and replied “well, I mean, there are a couple of vibrators I really like.”
The group stood in silence, and Kuai felt himself start to panic that he’d said something wrong or offended them. Then Johnny began to laugh to himself, both his companions turning to look at him questioningly.
“Well, uh. Thanks for confirming you’re a bottom,” Johnny said in a jovial tone, and Kuai felt his face start to go hot. He hadn’t even considered how his statement could be taken. “I mean. I had a feeling, but… Y’know. Didn’t wanna ask.”
“Oh my god,” Kuai groaned, putting his face in his hands and bending over slightly. He wanted the Earth to swallow him whole. “Oh god, I’m so sorry.”
“N-No I’m sorry,” Hanzo hurriedly assured him. “I should have clarified what I’m looking for better.”
“Hmm.” Kuai managed to stand back up straight, and brushed his hair out of his face. “So. Um. Y-You’re looking more for… fleshlights?”
“Yes. I think so,” he replied, and oh god, Kuai was glad that he was also feeling embarrassed right now. He couldn’t have coped if he was feeling it alone.
“We’ll leave you two to it,” Johnny claimed, turning to look at some of the porn dvd’s they had on display. “If that’s fine with you, Kuai Liang?”
“Absolutely,” Kuai replied, abandoning the vibrators and walking over to where the fleshlights were. He was joined by Hanzo, who was still clearly trying to not make eye contact with him. “So. Um. These are what we have. I’ve been told this one is pretty good as a first buy.”
“I see,” Hanzo spoke as Kuai pointed to the item in question. He reached to take a look at it. “I… Assume you don’t have many personal recommendations?”
Kuai coughed on his own spit, before groaning “I just outed myself so badly didn’t I?”
Hanzo chuckled slightly and said “you did.”
“Ugh. Johnny is never going to let me live this down.” He placed a hand to his head. Sure, Johnny was just a customer, but he was in the shop rather a lot. And this felt like the sort of thing he would forever be teased about.
“Knowing him, absolutely not.” Hanzo sighed dramatically. “How do you know him, by the way?”
“I- He’s a regular customer,” Kuai said with a shrug. He didn’t really know Johnny, especially given he was a famous movie star. They were friendly but he doubted they could ever be friends thanks to that.
“Huh.” Hanzo seemed confused, looking over his shoulder towards Johnny, before lowering his voice slightly. “Just, when he was talking about you, he made it sound like you two were good friends.”
“Wait…” Kuai tried to process that, wondering how to address what he’d just discovered. “He’s talked about me?”
“Well. Yes.” Hanzo straightened himself out, now acting like he was also discovering some new information. “I mean, he was just extremely insistent that you’d help me find what I need.”
Why does that sound almost like Johnny’s trying to get us to hook up? Because why wouldn’t he say Hanzo could find what he needed in the shop? Rather than straight from Kuai Liang. And then there was how he pretty much immediately pushed Hanzo forward to talk to Kuai Liang.
There was a light of realisation in Hanzo’s eyes as they widened and he whispered “oh my god, he was trying to set us up together, wasn’t he?”
“I think so,” Kuai giggled. Honestly, he was so used to guys just aggressively coming onto him, he was surprised he’d never had anyone bring their friend to meet him yet. This was a new experience.
“I am so sorry,” Hanzo reiterated in a devisated tone, placing a hand on his forehead. “I should have realised that he was up to something.” He sighed and shook his head. “I know he means well, but for fucks sake.” Hanzo held his hands up. “Please accept my sincerest apologies, and know you do not have to do anything more than sell me a sex toy.”
“Don’t worry, you are fine.” It was nice that someone actually apologised to him. But this wasn’t Hanzo’s fault. And this was far from the worst interaction he’d had at work. “Trust me, I’ve had some doozies.”
“I can imagine.” Hanzo looked down at the fleshlight in his hand. “I would suspect you get a lot of men who have no sense of boundaries.”
“You have no idea,” Kuai muttered under his breath. “There’s a reason I have pepper spray under the counter.”
“Thank you for not using that on me,” Hanzo said in such a serious tone it actually made Kuai Liang laugh. Hanzo himself ended up chuckling. “Like I said, Johnny means well. I’ve been trying to get myself out there in terms of dating but it’s… hard…”
“And Johnny thought your perfect match was the guy who works at the sex shop?” Kuai dryly pointed out, and once again he got a chuckle.
“Apparently.”
“Was it a bad break up?” Kuai questioned, since that was usually what people meant when they talked about getting back out there.
Hanzo gave him a sollom look. “I lost my wife about two years ago.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.” It hadn’t even occurred to him that something so terrible had happened. “That must have been hard.”
“It was, I was in a dark place for a very long time.” Hanzo sighed deeply, but then smiled to himself. “But my friends made me realise that Harumi wouldn’t have wanted me to wallow in self pity. She’d have wanted me to find happiness, no matter what.”
“Well, I certainly hope you find that happiness,” Kuai sincerely told him, reaching to pat his shoulder. He did feel for the guy, definitely. And honestly? He was kind of good looking. If they’d met outside of his work, Kuai might have actually considered a date with him.
“Thank you,” Hanzo said with a nod. “Sorry about everything again. I mean, you are very cute, but I would feel bad hitting on you when you’re just trying to do your work.”
Out of all the guys who’d come in and called him cute, Hanzo had been the most respectful. His mind rolled back to his previous thought, that if they’d met outside of the shop, Kuai would have considered it. And well… Johnny didn’t feel like the sort of guy who’d just throw a complete weirdo at him.
“Well... I get off work at about 5ish, and generally stop by the sandwich shop down the street to get something to eat,” he drawled, watching Hanzo stare at him in confusion. “If we were to just happen to run into each other, I wouldn’t be at work anymore.”
Realisation seemed to hit Hanzo and his eyes widened. It took a couple of seconds, but eventually he began to smile to himself.
“Yes. I suppose you wouldn’t.” Hanzo chuckled to himself under his breath, actually seeming a little flustered by Kuai’s suggestion. “Well. I should probably pay.” He held up the fleshlight slightly as he spoke. “And then, hm, maybe around 5ish I’ll find myself hungry and showing up at the sandwich shop.”
“It’d be a total coincidence, of course,” Kuai continued the bit, giggling slightly as he did.
“Absolutely.”
They shared a knowing smirk with each other.
“Let me ring you up,” Kuai finally said, gesturing towards the cash register. As he continued to make small talk and take the payment, he found himself getting excited about their totally-not-intended date later.
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