Pyramid Scheme

Cassie looked at Jin and Kuai with a sympathetic grimace, “I was told it was a party.”

“By a person you knew in high school,” Jin huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, and glancing over where the host was trying to tell another attendee how this one specific essential oil would cure all her ailments. “Cass, has no one ever told you not to attend a party from someone you knew in high school because it’s 99% likely to be a pitch for a pyramid scheme. I didn’t even go to high school and I know that!”

“Maybe we can-“ Cassie cut herself off when the host made her way to the three of them. “Oh, haha, hiya Kaylee, nice party.”

“Thanks,” the girl said, seemingly completely missing the sarcasm in Cassie’s voice. “So, do you guys have anything you need help with? I might be able to find an oil for it.”

Jin was going to say something sarcastic, but before he could Kuai cut in with “how exactly do these oils work?”

“What do you mean?” Kaylee asked, tilting her head innocently.

“Well, I have some experience with herbal medicines and items with magical properties.” Jin wanted to cringe, they weren’t supposed to talk about stuff like that with civilians. “These do not appear to have any specific properties that would make them the instant cure you claim them to be. Maybe they would help some minor ailments, but certainly not for some of the things you claim.”

“It’s not magic, just the goodness of mother nature.” Jin had to stop himself from laughing at such a weak answer.

“Well, nature is not always that good. Cyanide is naturally occuring, but I’m still fairly sure I'd die if I ate it.” Kuai’s face was one of confusion, and Jin genuinely had to put his hand over his mouth. This woman had no idea what she’d started. The Grandmaster of the Lin Kuei was inquisitive and tended not to drop a subject until he understood. “Not to mention there are things that the majority of people can eat, but can be deadly to some.”

“Allergies,” Kaylee replied with a roll of her eyes. “Those never existed before they started forcing vaccines on us.”

“What’s a vaccine?” Kuai asked with a completely straight face. Jin let out a short bark of a laugh at the way Kaylee’s mouth opened a few times like she was trying to come up with an answer.

“You know what,” Kaylee started pulling out an oil that Jin couldn’t tell what it was meant to be. It did look like it had little pine trees on it. “You sound like you need to be more in touch with nature, this one will be a good start.”

“I live on an isolated mountain range in China, how much more in touch with nature do I need to be?” He still took the oil, which was even funnier to Jin. He was practically in tears.

Kaylee seemed to finally realise she was fighting an uphill battle with Kuai Liang. She turned back to Cassie instead, likely overlooking Jin due to him clearly not taking any of this seriously any more.

“I’ll let you guys think about it for a sec and come back, okay?”

Before they could reply, Kaylee had turned on her heel to leave. Jin immediately collapsed, planting his head against Kuai’s shoulder.

“Oh my god, Grandmaster Sub Zero, I love you,” he exclaimed through his tears of laughter. He couldn’t see anything but did feel Kuai pat his head a couple of times.

“Just to clarify, you have had your vaccines,” Cassie informed Kuai. “My dad probably didn’t call them vaccines though. You were given a series of injections, remember?”

“Oh, those are vaccines.” The penny had clearly dropped, and the sudden understanding in Kuai’s voice just made Jin laugh harder. “Your father called them shots.”

“Yeah, sounds about right,” Cassie giggled slightly, and finally Jin managed to push himself to sit up. “I’m so glad you saw through this snake oil bullshit, I was worried. You’re sheltered and absolutely the sort of person these schemes prey on.”

“I just do not understand how these are meant to do anything, and I am far more familiar with herbal remedies than she appears to be,” Kuai replied, observing the bottle in his hand. “And her answers did not explain.”

“Yeah, that’s the point.” Jin patted Kuai on the back a few times. “Honestly, I kinda wanna stay now just to watch the Grandmaster’s innocent questioning completely tear this shit apart.”

“I’m down if Grandmaster Sub Zero is.”

Kuai looked at them both with a strange determination in his eyes, “I still have many questions, so yes.”

Jin leaned back in his chair, and couldn’t wait for Kaylee to approach again so he could witness the oncoming shitshow. Maybe this was a party after all.

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